Cracked... Crumbled... Shattered...

They see a girl, a very happy girl

 I see a secret, hidden beneath piles of smiles

  No one can see, only my eyes can peek

   No one will know, cause she will never show

    They hear a laugh, a true and joyful laugh

      I hear a scream, of terror and hidden dreams

       If only they could see, but only my eyes can peek

        The girls broken smile only   

                                                      cracked...      

                

                   crumbled....                         shattered.....

           They see a body, of the sad lonely girl

           I see an angel, set free from the world 

          They walk away with tears, I with my own fears

         The world became silent, with thoughts rambling violent

         Under all the stars, nothing could hide the scars

        Slicing away, blood stained the sheets

        Feeding the monster, that will always eat

       Inside her heart, she knew only one thing could there be to do

      So she 

                           cracked...

           crumbled...                              shattered...

  

What Type Of Underwear Are you?

What Type Of Underwear Are you?

The meaning of life itself.

               The reason we are here. Why and who decided to place me upon this Earth? The point in it all is still yet to be found, pondered upon for generations I don't think this question will ever sece to be asked. If we were put here merely to survive then I'd say we've surpassed that by far enough to look for another reason. Is it to make each other smile? Spread love and happiness across the world? Well, look around you. I think you're shaking your head because though we've made it this long together, we really are not together are we? Our society isn't made up of the people, it's the fake mind set that has been drilled into their minds. If only our society had a humanity could we rise from our fears and hold each other up as one people.

              I remember one time, when I was a young child I asked, "Daddy what's the meaning of life?" Well all I can tell you is to put this pondering at ease. If our meaning were to find the meaning then I see no difference in just making one up and calling it a day. Things like religion may irk you to question even more. Putting your whole heart into a bible and a man you only believe in. But that amount of belief amazes me. It is the belief that makes religion so perplexing. That man would put his thoughts aside for something he didn't even know for a solid fact was true. To have the heart to never stop believing in this man and the cause he brought upon to you. I think this is just fascinating. I myself, wish to have such strong feelings in the subject. I have attended Cathedrals, churches, Masses, Bible studies but never found the spark I was looking for. I am not one to believe that science is all there is to us, something IS there but I don't feel it in a church or a bible.

                 I don't know what the meaning of this all is but I know that whatever this world offers I want to take all I can and give all I can to it. You know how at Christmas time, 'giving is better than receiving?' I think that applys to this subject too. Leaving something behind for someone else to be amazed about and ponder over sure is more rewarding than taking all the happiness for yourself. I wish that all this 'proud words' could summarize my personality. These thoughts of mine may give you the impression I'm a smart, well thought out, confident girl. These couldn't be any more untrue, I am a B average student, my mind is a jumbled mess. I only wish I could think straight sometimes and I'm about as confident as a turtle. But let me ask you this. If you look at anyone in history that has made a difference in the world. Did they have it all in school? Were they the most popular or most fit person? Or did they have all the newest, tresndyest clothing? I think not. Look as Roosevelt. He has crippled and in a wheel chair for much of his presidency and he made a huge difference in the world. Dealing with World War two, the hate from all that would bring any man down. Or Amelia Earhart, a woman flying a plane was unheard of until she dared to.

          What do I believe in? Happiness. I want to spread smiles and share memories. But go find your own meaning to life and believe in it with your whole heart because life's too short to be half hearted.

Hetalia FanFiction Chapter 2 (Fem! Usuk)

           The light peeled her eyes open, irritably stinging them as she adjusted to the light. dazedly Alice peered around the room but there was no sign of Amelia anywhere. The dream was only that of her pleasant memory from the past. When Amelia looked up to Alice as if she were queen on Britain. A small sigh escaped her as she sat up in the enormous king size bed and turned to examine the clock on her night stand. It was four in the morning, she still had two hours before she was supposed to get ready and leave for breakfast in the dining hall.

            Amelia... How long will I be able to take this before I just accept that.... I love you?

           Alice pushed the thick blanket off her and shivered as she made her way to the bathroom to carry about her morning routine. She took great pride in organization. She had an easily accessible place for everything. Tooth brush, tooth paste, brush, hair bands, ribbons and clips, soap. And most important of all, her glasse-  "WHERE ARE THEY!?"

        Alice panicked, shifting furiously through her bag, binder, bathroom sink, they had been no where to be found. Frustrated, she hopped onto the bed to pout when she heard the sharp breaking of glass. Eyes wide, she froze in her spot. Slowly and hesitantly she lifted herself out of the bed and looked to the sheet and to her horror.... Two broken lenses scattered the sheet, adding to her horror there left a scratch on her elbow. Alice needed her glasses to see but now this was serious. BLOOD! The sight of blood made her noshes and her world spin. Alice left the lenses there and scrambled through the bathroom until she fell upon her old, Victorian styled pearl pink glasses. They were about six times the size of her eyes, giant and they made her look like an old woman. She slipped them on and examined the damage. If this were a silly cartoon the mirror would've shattered by now.

                     God... if you're punishing me.... consider yourself an accomplished man

          Later that day she conjured enough courage to actually attend the breakfast. Much less leave her room. She tried to keep a poker face, and avoid any eye contact with any of her fellow peers. This was going to be a long day for Alice

                  

Gatos thoughts 5

Ok well this is for a few particular people I know. I think the only people who read this is Cory, Megu and Nej really, so here's just whtats been on my mind as of lately, for your sake.

CORY

                Cory, I have to admit to you something. I feel like I never talk to you. Like when we talk, it's you talking and me smiling and listening. And it's messing with my esteem. I know you're this really nice strong person, and I'm rather weak, but please remember that I am way more fragile than I let on. It may be a little thing for anyone else, but (poetic time) my heart has been hit, scratched, burnt, neglected, spit on, forgotten, lost, I don't want any more heart ake. But the truth is if we're going to be friends (Which i for sure want that :) Then this relationship can't be one sided. You need to listen more. And maybe this is true for your other friends? Maybe Kelli thinks this? I don't know if it's just me. I want to be your friend, but if you don't listen to me before we know it I'll have another break down and I can't make eye contact with you anymore. I don't want to push you away, so I won't.

 

MEGU

 

I don't know how to push people away, never could because if I did I was scared they'd get hurt. I was always pushed away therefore I just can't. Somtimes I think that I care too much for people. I'll go out of my way to make sure the other is comfortable. That's my biggest burden on myself. So thank you for caring about me, and noticing things NO ONE ELSE would've or would've brought attension to. I can tell you care a lot because when you notice small things, you don't just leave it there, you go on and investigate and cconfront me. To be honest I need someone like you, you make me confront my self, more over, my own feelings :) Thank you for caring, I will NEVER let you go no matter what happens or what feelings occur.

 

NEJ

 

 



Thank you also for being there for me. Even when I push away, you and Megu never get fazed and hug me tight never the less :) My biggest issue was that I didn't feel like I was ANYONES number one. And thus I pushed you guys away.
But in reality, when I push away I only want to pull you closer. I don't know why I do that, it's just my horrible nature.

Hetalia Fan Fiction Chapter 1 (Fem!Usuk)

               This girl had always been my close friend, practically my own little sister since we met. Surely feelings like these could never surface, feelings for Amelia beyond a sisterly love couldn't be normal but-. Alice stood in the door way, after a long day at the Academy and studying with Amelia, a tear trickled down her cheek. She knew what she felt but, what if these feelings brought them apart? What if Amelia never talked to her again? Or hated her? Dropping to her knees the tears poured out of her and she let them.

I can't love you like this Amelia, am I even allowed to love a girl? Is it not sane? Bloody hell why can't I get a grip?!  This isn't love, loss of sleep maybe? Am I dehydrated? I don't know, I'll just ignore these feelings. They'll go away.

         Pulling herself to her feet she limply pulled herself under her covers. She tried to focus on her home work, snuggling deep into her thick sheets with pencil in hand but she found it to be a chore just to hold herself from the subject. She really loved Amelia didn't she? The pent of frustration nagged at her and she shoved her homework off the bed. She couldn't study with things clouding her mind....


         


"Amelia! Don't climb up so high! You're going to fall and hurt yourself!"
"Oh calm down you brit, I'll be fine, I'm brave enough! Bold enough! Awe-"  Alice interjected. "STUPID ENOUGH!" Laughing at her own joke Alice ranted on.

Aliiiiiiiiice!! I will get this apple! No matter how much you try to discourage me to! Almost...there...

    Her fingers made contact with the shiny red apple, plucking it from the branch she parted her lips to boast to Alice when she lost her balance and came tumbling to the ground. When she opened her eyes Alice was looking down at her, tears speckling her cheeks.

"Told you I'd get it didn't I?" she chuckled, sitting up to rub her sore elbow, as if she felt nothing.

"YOU IDIOT! You got hurt because you were so reckless! Why can't you listen to me!?" Alice dropped the apple and pounded at Amelia's chest with balled fists and a fit of hiccups. Amelia chuckled, pushing back the girls tears with a reassuring grin. "I'm not dead am I? Look I'm totally fine, intact, I have all my limbs don't I?" She tried to ease the crying girl.

   A string of sniffles followed another fit of hiccups. "W-what if you had h-hit you head? What about tha-that?!"

"WOW Alice! I didn't know you cared so much!" Amelia figured that if Alice was crying over something so small, she might as well have fun with it. Thus, Alice's face grew a tomato red and she crossed her arms, pushing tears away and suppressing sniffles. "Well don't get so ho-hot headed. I do care for you but only to see if you were alright. I'd get in trouble!"

      Oh she could play this game. "Trouble from whom? Francis? He wouldn't even bat an eye." She challenged. "Besides I know you care." pulling herself to her feet Amelia held out a hand to help Alice, but the stubborn, quoteth from Alice, 'twat' brought herself up, arms still crossed. She let a sigh escape her lips as she looked to the shiny red apple still in the blades of grass and she bent over to retrieve her prize and held it out for Alice.

"What's this?" she scoffed, Alice was too easy to read. She was so bashful for all the wrong reasons. showing she cared always made her turn right around and deny she said anything. But Amelia could see through her like stain glass. Pulling her hand into hers she stopped the stubborn girl and placed the apple in her palm.

"I got it for you silly. Don't tell me I did that for nothing." She smirked, her sea blue eyes glistened. Alice's eyes only teared up, tears pouring out like a gentil water fall as she threw her arms around Amelia's neck. Almost as if an impulse Amelias arms wrapped tight around her.

"I love you I just don't want to see you hurt!" She sobbed into her shoulder

I love the woooorld! This is my blog, life, thoughts, mind, inspirations and issues. Deal with them or don't read them. That simple